Welcome to another edition of Self-Improvement Sunday. Each week, I try to share some unique ideas that don’t suck, worth your consideration to help enhance the experience of your life. This week we’re talking about 1) why we need to struggle in life, 2) the relationship between struggles and happiness, and 3) developing a success template.

Let’s get on it.

#1: Why we need to Struggle in Life

Imagine yourself at the middle of a Cricket pitch with a Cricket bat in hand. Thousands of eyes stuck on you. You’re on strike. The equation required is quite simple. You need to score three runs off the next three balls to lead your team to victory. The smart approach with lesser risk involved should be to score these runs through singles, though it involves higher effort and struggle, instead of hitting the ball in the air for a four or six, that has higher chances of getting out.

However, the struggle is so tedious but safe, whereas aggression is so glorious, contemporary, and highly risky.

Back in 2016, during a WT20 match between India and Bangladesh in Bangalore, some of the Bangladeshi players founded themselves at a similar crossroads. The equation drawn was simple, but the choice was tricky – struggle and victory or style and victory. Mushfiqar Rahim chose the latter, and so did his teammates following him.

If you’re a cricket fan, then you know what happened next was historically outstanding – A legendary comeback from the Indian team for the records. But in reality, India didn’t win that match. Infact, it was Bangladesh who lost it.

The word ‘struggle’ doesn’t have a very happy connotation. In fact, most of our plans focus on circumventing it altogether. We aspire grandeur, but we hardly ever strive for it. Therefore, I am awfully shocked to observe so many people whine about their meaningless lives or the lack of significance thereof.

How could you suppose to discover anything meaningful without the willingness to first struggle for it?

‘Struggle’ is a psychological fuel for our brain to generate any sort of meaning in life. Without it, we don’t reserve the right to be offended if life becomes a Nicklodean’s TV show. When you choose to struggle for something, your brain goes ahead and creates meaning and significance through and for that something. And if it doesn’t feel so good, then must I remind you that you have the complete freedom to choose whatever you wish to struggle for.

You can choose to struggle for better civil rights, equal animal rights, fair trade practices, transparent governance, legalization of drugs, sexy prostitutes, freedom from your wife to watch ‘Breaking Bad’ for the ninth time, or whatever your heart desires.

All the significant decisions related to one’s life and career thus boils down to how one prefers to struggle. Whatever we determine to fight, and sacrifice to accomplish, then becomes our source from where we draw meaning in life. And therefore, the struggle is not only significant but necessary.

#2: The relationship between Struggles and Happiness

I have come to a startling realization in the last 15 months that – I cannot go and feel good about myself without actually struggling for it. As stupid as it sounds, but it’s actually real. And I have a theory to explain this narrative.

There have been several instances in the past where I would dump all work and responsibilities, scrap a few deadlines just to go out with friends, or maybe to watch Netflix or for a few extra hours of sleep on a Sunday morning. Each of these activities seems super fun and exciting on the surface, but in the end, each action makes me feel guilty and irresponsible instead of gratifying me with joy and happiness.

Therefore, I have to come to observe a direct relationship between my struggles and the way I feel about myself.

The thing is that there is an infinite number of alternatives available to each one of us at every moment. Our psychological makeup is such that our brain can draw – reasons to pursue something and excuses to avoid the same thing – at the same time. Perhaps, to relentlessly choose to sacrifice comfort in the face of infinite distractions is psychologically tiring and our unerring struggle as a human.

However, when we ascertain to struggle for something and then come true on the sacrifices required for the struggle, we eventually feel good about ourselves.

Yes, Jon. You did it! Give yourself a pat on your back.

#3: Developing a Success Template

If you have paid any real attention to this newsletter so far, then you must be thinking – that struggling is all good. And yes, it is essential to make sacrifices as our struggles play a decisive role when it comes to how good/bad we feel about ourselves. But how do we create productive ‘struggles’ in life?

When I motivate any person to be open to struggles in life, he imagines breaking the whole mountain down into little stones in a very short time. Yes, the instant surge of energy is good. But it never lasts. And it’s because of two reasons – 1) he never thinks about streamlining the process, and 2) he lacks discipline.

Irrespective of your dreams, goals, and plans – your success depends on 1) how clear you are about the process and 2) your discipline to stick to the process.

If you have to break down a mountain, you can’t just assume to sledgehammer it all the way down to rubble. You ought to have a realistic plan based upon facts. And then stick to the plan with discipline. Similarly, in academics, you break down topics and then memorize them one by one, instead of targeting an entire chapter or subject.  

For me, my everyday success template looks something like this – 500/80/20. This is the bare minimum that I target.

500 – denotes the bare minimum number of words that I will write no matter what. 80 – denotes the bare minimum amount of minutes I’ll spend every day in the gym or in a park to exercise. 20 – denotes the bare minimum number of pages I’ll read every day no matter what.

I try my best to stick to the template. I keep faith in the process, and I try to exercise as much discipline as I can. Completing the targets defined by the template makes me feel good and confident. Otherwise, I usually find myself deliberately avoiding oneself to circumvent the guilt associated with betraying my precious future.

I need you to understand that following a template helps build momentum. It’s not about only achieving the bare minimum, but ensuring that you accomplish the bare minimum and then further build upon it.

Choosing what to struggle for and then figuring out a smart and productive approach is the essence of a good and successful life. It is one of the most important questions a man has to address in his lifetime.

(Note: – If you find this newsletter helpful, then please forward it to someone who can benefit from it. If you’re someone who has received this newsletter as a forward, you can subscribe here. You can also read all the previous editions of this newsletter here.)

See you next week,

Aashish

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