5 Basic Principles that can Change your Life Forever

They are like the excess baggage that we carry from one airport to another and incidentally end up paying immense charges for the service.

This charge that I refer to is a loss of our energy, which, to remind you, is limited and valuable. And of course, it cannot be bought with hard or digital cash. Therefore, to save all of us from existential energy loss, here are the 5 principles that can save our life-ships from crashing down, or at least help extend our flying experience for as long as possible.

#1) Trying to find your passion is a bullshit thing to do.

Just before writing this section, I searched Google: How many people are stressed/depressed about being unable to find their passion. Unfortunately, there is no definitive study yet on the matter to reveal the exact numbers. However, I am undoubtedly sure that the stats will be very high, or in other words, horrifying.

Our 21^st-century world is decorated with people who incessantly wait to figure out their passion. Most of us have no clue about what we wish to do with our lives. And that’s primarily because we have been asking the wrong questions.

When you search for your passion or your favorable career option, what do you seek? Something that you can enjoy doing for the rest of your life. Something you’ll never get bored with. Right?

Well, it’s a slightly less smart way of approaching the problem.

The best way is to ascertain the accurate cost of doing a particular activity and to honestly figure out how well you can pay that cost consistently.

Let me explain.

For most of my life, I thought Cricket was my passion. But unfortunately, in my childhood, I was never really allowed to pursue it as a career option. Yet, as a teenager, I did receive a splendid opportunity to make amends. However, at that stage, I realized that, though I always liked imagining myself as a cricketer, winning games for my country. Yet I never really wanted to endure the arduous struggle or the enormous volume of pain associated with the process of becoming a cricketer. I simply didn’t like the pain.

Then, a couple of years later, I developed a fascination for writing. Initially, it also seemed well. But by the fact that I was more mature then, I could ask myself, do I like the pain of staring at a blank screen for hours on end, without a clue about the next word, or the next idea. I asked myself, how would I feel about giving 10 or 12 hours of writing sessions, and the immense mental struggle involved in writing a book? And believe me, it takes a lot of pain, but this time the responses were more positive. And I knew the choice was made.

Similarly, when you determine something as your passion, don’t be blindsided by how much you like the work. Honestly identify and calculate the volume of pain and effort associated with that work, and assess how comfortable and willing you are to engage with it. If the responses are positive, then go ahead.

Once you begin to ask the right questions, you move your life towards the change you desire.

#2) Learn to create a space between yourself and your problems.

I see many people around who are genuinely suffering through a tremendous crisis, and yet they keep on wailing about it, instead of doing something to change their lives. Many of us suffer through the wraths of confusion and distress and then do absolutely nothing to rectify it.

I want you to understand that you are not your problems. Whatever issues we experience are not because they are part of us. We suffer them because we made some choices.

Whether it’s about the professional career, relationship issues, marriage problems, being too anxious, feeling lonely, or traumatized by failure – it’s not you. It’s the choices that you have taken that are hurting.

And once you disidentify yourself from your problems, you bring yourself to a position where you can exercise control. Where you can apply strong disciplinary measures to achieve the solutions that you want.

If you keep identifying yourself as your problem, well, then there is no practical solution for your worries. Because then the only remedial solution is death. Only when you die shall your problems end. However, when you understand that you are not the problem, but it’s the choices that you make, then you can focus on learning how to make better choices.

#3) Achieve Clarity of Thoughts. Don’t aim for certainty.

Most of us spend enormous amounts of time thinking about our life situations in an attempt to be certain. We feel perplexed when we can’t find answers. We lose our shit to our doubts and fear. And we call this overthinking.

Though in our societies, overthinking is soon becoming an insensible thing to do, yet overthinking isn’t necessarily bad. It can inspire creativity. 

Humans have a tendency to be certain about everything. Where we are heading, what we like, what we don’t like, what is good, and what is bad. And amidst all such confusion, we forget one simple fact – that life is uncertain and fragile. Not only can we never completely predict the future, but our knowledge about the subject is limited and biased.

Only a fool is entirely certain about everything. However, if you have an active intelligence, you’re bound to weigh your options. If you have an active intelligence, then you’ll reevaluate your choices. You’ll strive to be better in the future. And while it’s a healthy thing to do, it doesn’t mean there is nothing that can be improved about overthinking.

See, overthinking is thinking without rational knowledge and definitions. Which attracts a whole lot of excess baggage, most of which we probably don’t need. Therefore, instead of aiming for certainty, aim for clarity.

To achieve clarity in life, we need to achieve clarity in our thoughts. In hindsight, it means understanding and observing the metrics of our choices, and then learning and applying better metrics whenever possible, to change our lives for good.

For instance, if a person is experiencing confusion in his professional life, then he/she needs to sit down and decide what pain does exactly he wants to pursue (the best metric to judge a career option, as exhibited by point 1 of this article). Because every career choice will have an inherent pain and a whole lot of sacrifices associated with it. It’s about deciding what pain you would be comfortable enduring for the rest of your life.

If you’re confused about marrying someone, then the correct metrics should be to figure out whether your relationship has the basic fundamental necessity to survive. And don’t bullshit yourself, because it’s not romantic love. It is a deep respect for one another. The most fundamental necessity for any relationship is that both individuals shall hold mutual respect for one another, their identities, their hobbies, and their desires in the highest regard.

Because, when the intense experience of being-in-love fades away, when you get tired of jumping in bed with (or on) each other (which, believe me, can happen very quickly), and when reality sets in, you should still like and admire that person. You should trust him/her to love you unconditionally. To stick with you through thick and thin, and the ups and downs of life.

Because when someone who has seen everything with you, and is still willing to be by your side, to support you, and help you grow – that is true love baby! And yes, it’s based upon deep respect.

#4) Be Confident about your skills, don’t give a fuck about the result.

The best thing that I like about my country in a state of lockdown is that I get to spend all the time in the world on myself. I have been re-reading books that I have already read, to polish my memory, and reading new ones. Playing some cool video games, knocking off all the things from my to-do list that were pending for quite a long time, and doing some other important stuff.

The thing is that I like working on myself, learning new things, and consistently sharpening my skills. It gives me confidence. The confidence that is built on clarity, and not presumptions.

One should always aspire to attain confidence in his/her skill and knowledge, instead of focusing on the result. Because when it comes to success, 1) there are many parameters involved, and 2) there are two types of success.

You can become a great human being (the first type of success) and yet fail in the material world (the second type of success). Because success in the material world depends upon what the world is ready for. And as any sane man would argue, we cannot influence what the world wants; we can only focus on our actions.

Therefore, focus your actions on becoming a better human being. Don’t necessarily give a fuck about the result. Once you are laser-sharp focused on yourself and improving your skills, you end up changing your life in the best possible manner.

#5) Learn your self-worth. And don’t ever let anyone screw with it.

Self-worth is again something that I notice a lot of people struggling with. Most of our populations aren’t able to effectively implement discipline in their life, and that’s primarily because of the lack, or absence, of essential self-worth.

One should feel a sense of value and importance towards oneself and his life. Only then would he be able to change anything about his life.

One of the most important lessons that I have learned is that I am responsible for my happiness and satisfaction. It is not the job of anyone else to do it for me. And when we blame others for our problems, instead of taking responsibility for them, we also deprive ourselves of the opportunity to fix them.

These two things, when combined, make not only ourselves but our time and our energy far more valuable.

Once we begin to see every day as an excellent opportunity to accomplish great things, learn new ones, and express ourselves, we are inevitably prompted to not only appreciate life but also value it.

The only thing that scares me these days is the possibility of not using my time and energy effectively and efficiently. This fear, in turn, makes me more conscious of myself. And my self-worth keeps on snowballing through the unprecedented roads, thus changing and evolving my life, for the better.

Understanding and valuing your self-worth not only helps you to uphold healthy boundaries, but it also becomes a great skill. Because choosing not to value yourself is like sacrificing your potential. And trust me, it is worse than it seems.   

As brilliantly put by Eleanor Roosevelt – “The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.”