Emily Rhodes and Lyor Boone, staff members of President Kirkman, were stuck in an elevator room when Lyor quoted an aphorism upon observing Emily’s actions. He said: “You’re confusing motion for progress. As per usual.” Duh! That boorish genius divulged a momentous human paradox as if proffering a pack of tissue papers to a sneeze ball sitting beside you on the dining table. Anyways. The truth is that we all confuse motion for progress while enumerating our own personal growth.
If you aren’t familiar with the situation here, I am quoting a scene from Netflix’s Designated Survivor. Nevertheless. Lyor’s quote is so true that it can effectively be branded as one of the most profound and accurate assessments about people, especially in the 21st century.
We all tend to exaggerate facts to make us look smarter, knowledgable, richer, and more beautiful. Seldom are our assessments rooted in reality. More often than not, they are just meant to make us feel good about ourselves.
“You know Aashish, I had a great last year. I learned many lessons and faced uncountable hardships. Hence, I have grown. I changed and became an improved version of myself.”
Boohoo!
When I ask such people what they really learned, their responses are usually like:
Then I inquire which one of these activities solved any of your real-life problems? And, within a few seconds, I observe their face turn pale as if I suddenly grew horns around my head.
If you also made such superficial assessments about last year, then, here, let me put on my veracious face to tell you: it is not progress.
Such activities can only be construed as a lost physical motion if they didn’t solve any of your real problems. Nothing more. Nothing less.
If you keep dragging a very heavy box, tied to yourself, everywhere and call it progress, then you know what people will call you, right? Yes. We’ll call you stupid and ignorant.
Alfred Armand Montapert described it perfectly in “The Supreme Philosophy of Man: The Laws of Life” when he said, people confuse motion for progress like a rocking horse. The horse keeps moving but doesn’t make any progress.
Unfortunately, people commit the same mistake in their life. Except, they give it a fancy name – personal growth – to numb themselves and the people around them.
Personal growth occurs when someone learns to rationalize situations and perspectives in a better way. In other words, they are actually able to apply the knowledge they have learned, from different sources, in their own life.
Growth means learning from our mistakes and not repeating the same errors again. In spirituality, they have a term for repeating the same mistakes over and over again. They call it – going in cycles. People love going in cycles. It’s like recreating the same situations in life. Millennials even have a term for this psychological tendency. They call it – recreating memories.
Think about this.
Have you managed to evolve your life problems? Or, are they arguably similar to what you are practically accustomed to? If you have an affirmative answer for the latter question, then you know your shit.
If you and your partner quarrel over the same pity issues of last year, it means that your relationship has not really grown at all. If you repeatedly find yourself in the middle of such arguments, the end of which you already know, then my friend, you have not made any progress.
Life can never be problem-free. However, with the correct perspective and knowledge, we can evolve our problems into slightly better problems.
For instance, if finding yourself a date is your problem. Then, you can evolve it into a slightly better problem of understanding how to become a better person who is worthy of being dated.
The underlying problem can further be evolved into an even better problem of choosing healthy values for yourself, to become a better person.
True personal growth means constantly upgrading your problems into slightly better problems. The mere recognition of the fact, that every problem can be evolved into a slightly better problem, is the true foundation for growth.
Again, for instance, the problem of choosing healthy values can be evolved into the problem of learning discipline and determination. Similarly, the problem of practicing discipline can then be evolved into the problem of exhibiting patience and focus.
Probably, by now, you understand how this works. Solving our legitimate problems is the only way to true personal growth.
Now calm down, Amigo. Don’t beat yourself up already. Here, I have laid down six radical ways to accelerate personal growth. Delve into them.
And hey dude! Don’t make the same mistakes again and again. That shit, simply, ain’t cool.
‘Multiple Interpretation of a thought’ is my favorite mind game. It is something I indulge in whenever I am bored. Just pick the first thought that comes to your mind and try to evaluate its meaning. Then try to discern a different possible meaning for it. Then maybe another. Try to understand the cause of that thought.
All this may sound creepy or weird to some people, but believe me, it is one of those habits which can highly grow your intelligence, your levels of understanding. Practice it regularly for a few weeks, and you’ll observe yourself understanding and learning things faster than ever before. You will be able to develop the habit of seeing things from different perspectives.
Sometimes I play this game with one of my friends. We choose a particular situation and then try to discern that situation from the perspective of our other friends. For us it’s fun. Maybe, you can try it with someone too.
Further, if you practice this game while you are emotionally sad, then you would be able to not only understand your feelings better, but you can explore them till depth. People usually end up paying a couple of hundred dollars to a psychiatrist for such things.
Pinpointing the metrics of our judgments, decisions, and opinions is one of those things which is extremely easy at the surface. However, once you explore life with a little bit of sincerity, you understand just how badly messed we are.
We exaggerate stuff about everything. We exaggerate our values and feelings in our own minds. We consider our morals and values as superior when compared to our friends’ morals and values.
We think of ourselves as a ‘Philosophical Buddha’, who knows everything and everything about everything. The truth is that none of us is as great as we think we are. We are typically misinformed about most of the things, most of the time.
Therefore, pinpointing your metrics of judgment would require you to be absolutely honest with yourself. Does it mean that you’ll stop sucking? Hell no! It means you’ll start getting better and sucking a little less.
I once knew someone whose mind used to break while being in a pressure situation. For instance, if she is giving an interview, her mind would switch to autopilot mode and bring horrific thoughts of failure, and as a result, her confidence used to get hampered. She got rejected a few times due to her underlying mental block.
We must understand that our thoughts are quite intricate in nature. Any sort of effort to fight against them would only make them more operative. The first step to deal with any such thought, that you wish should not obstruct your performance, is to see them as they are.
For instance, if a person is used to having thoughts of rejection while giving the interview, he can simply accept his thoughts as they are. After all, they are just thoughts.
He can quickly say to himself: “I am having thoughts about rejection. However, it’s okay to have such thoughts. Success and failure are a part of life”. If he can affirm to himself that I am well prepared for this interview, and I have the required knowledge, abilities and skills to complete the job; he’ll break free from the negative pattern.
Similarly, learn to evaluate your thoughts as you think them. In this manner, you would be able to increase your awareness, declutter your mind, and grow your emotional intelligence as well.
Let’s be honest for a moment here. Due to the growing trends of social media and its increased outreach, great has become normal and good is nowhere appreciated anymore. As a generation, we probably are living in the most competitive time in the world. Everyone wants to be regarded as one of the best today.
However, not everybody likes to suffer pain. Wherever there is some sort of effort involved, people run away like “Speedy Gonzales.” Almost everyone wants to be crowned these days, but not many want to work for that crown.
Therefore, you can use this as an opportunity and surprise the world with your greater resilience and the ability to sustain pain for a longer time.
Probably, you would have heard the well-known exercise motto that promises greater value rewards for the price of hard work. The motto is: “No Pain, No Gain.” However, for the purpose of bringing clarity to our generation, I have changed the determiners to make the motto even more effective – “More Pain, More Gain.”
There is a tradition of making resolutions every new year. Well, we are already into the second week of the year, and I am inclined towards asking you – how well are you keeping up to your resolutions?
If not well, then don’t mind. Start over again. However, this time do it with a little scientific mindset. Draw up a systematic chart of things that you want to, or don’t want to do, daily or weekly, as per your resolutions.
Once you are done with the chart, assign marks to every task that you have listed out.
Now, everyday follow up with the chart and reward yourself marks as per your activity during the day. This will help you track your personal growth.
Irrespective of how your day went, don’t forget giving yourself marks for it. After some time when you’ll look back at your score, whether it’s good or not, you’ll inevitably feel the desire of working upon yourself more passionately.
The trick is that if you are not making progress, at least build the passion for making progress. Eventually, you would have to follow through with your commitments at some point.
No book, or knowledge for that matter, can help you if you don’t apply yourself. Many people like to read a couple of dozen books every year. Yet when it comes to applying the learned knowledge, whether in business, or their relationships, or life in general, they suck. As if the words of wisdom just abruptly disappear from their minds.
This is because that merely reading a book is not enough. You must also understand how to apply the knowledge of that book.
I use two different techniques for the underlying purpose. First is the visualization technique, and the second one I call – OAU`M which stands for ‘Observation Analysis Understanding and Manage.’
I’ll discuss the second technique in a separate article with all the intricate delicacies, talking about its relevance and relativeness with major psychological studies and researches done all over the world.
Nevertheless, the first technique is relatively easy. All you need to do is visualize yourself actually applying the learned information and knowledge to create intuitive memories in your brain. Though it has some limitations, however, it is quite effective for a beginner.
You must understand that the ability to learn well is not only more valuable than ever before, but the value compounds over time. The things that you learn, the lessons that you understand, the mistakes that you correct today will not only improve your ability to learn vital and valuable lessons tomorrow but will also help you to learn faster. Therefore, focusing on personal growth is substantial to growth.
If you want to win any race, then you must know how to run fast. It’s as simple as that.
Footnotes:-
| ↑ 1 | Yes, this fucktard thinks dating 60 girls on tinder is amazing and infers it as growth |
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Nice Article. I love how the points you have mentioned are very fundamental in nature and though they have a very basic stature but cause a vast affect on our day-to-day life. Thanks for the piece!